Mystery terrorists release 300 mink

“Clatsop County Sheriff’s deputies are on high alert for suspected “unknown animal rights terrorists,” … .

A criminal mischief investigation is under way.”

Lesseeeee criminal mischief in Oregon:


(1) A person commits the crime of criminal mischief in the first degree who, with intent to damage property, and having no right to do so nor reasonable ground to believe that the person has such right:

(a) Damages or destroys property of another:

(A) In an amount exceeding $1,000;

hmmm letting loose some mink…I doubt that’s an excess of $1K to the property…and nobody actually STOLE the mink AND mink are NOT a livestock animal according to the great state of Oregon

(D) Which is a livestock animal as defined in ORS 164.055 (Theft in the first degree);

(d) “Livestock animal” means a ratite, psittacine, horse, gelding, mare, filly, stallion, colt, mule, ass, jenny, bull, steer, cow, calf, goat, sheep, lamb, llama, pig or hog.

But, surprisingly, an ASS is a livestock animal. I’ll bet Special Agent Mikey wasn’t aware of that. See ya at the sale barn, Mikey. I’ll bet someone would offer $16.00 for him at least.


About TripodMA

I went to protests and all I got was this lousy surveillance. Proud parking lot naturalist. My Awards: Time Magazine Person of the Year! 2011 Recipient of the distinguished FBI Out-And-About & Home Visit award FBI Associates Program Nominee 2009-2010 County Parks Taxidermy Squirrel recipient 2009-2010 Don’t Eff With Me and I Won’t Eff With You certificate 2010
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2 Responses to Terrorists?

  1. lens1 says:

    Swarming the northern sector of the Olympic Peninsula – 40 Border Patrol agents with nothing better to do.

    Just south, Oregon. Mink. Terror?

    If the mink speak Spanish, no problema.
    Pashto, Dari or French?
    Big problema.

    (Hey, from the Blaine Sector!)

  2. TripodMA says:

    I think the mink speak Siberian Yupik so they’re going to be OK 😀 (RUN FREE!!!!)

    To assist Homeland Insecurity and prevent accommodating non-Americans (aka what the EffBI labels terrorists), I’m kinda surprised US schools still teach Spanish, Farsi, Arabic and French….oh and Chinese. Are communists still a threat?

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